Stop 'Bubble Wrapping' at Work: It's Quietly Sabotaging Your Career

An executive coach and leadership expert explains why so many women are 'bubble wrapping' in the workplace – and how to stop.

When was the last time you stayed late despite having plans because you couldn't say no? Or volunteered for an extra project just to 'look good'? It's a well-recognised phenomenon that women are more likely to change who they are at work to appease others. A recent survey found that 56% of women feel pressure to be likeable at work compared with only 36% of men. This 'likeability labour' means women often feel overly responsible for other people's comfort.

Dr Mandy Lehto, an executive coach and leadership expert, calls this 'bubble wrapping' the room. It's exhausting and can hold you back. Why? It's inauthentic and stops you from communicating your own needs and ambitions.

"If you're quick to alleviate any tension, you might have what psychologists call low distress tolerance," Lehto says. "While your inclination might be to scramble to fix things, it's time to let go of the 'good girl' mentality and stop feeling responsible for the vibe of every room."

How to Stop Yourself Bubble Wrapping at Work

Start with three small experiments this week:

1. Let a conversation end naturally. The next time a conversation runs its course, just let it stop without floundering for a new topic to diffuse an awkward silence.
2. Set boundaries without over-explaining. The next time you feel the impulse to over-explain a boundary, offer one clean sentence. For example, "No, I'm afraid I'm not able to take that on at the moment" doesn't need an additional essay on the reasons why.
3. Respond to uncomfortable comments with curiosity. The next time someone makes an uncomfortable comment, try: "Help me to understand what you mean by that?" Then stop talking and see what happens.

"You can expect an adrenaline surge and an internal wobble, but stay in tension anyway," she adds. "You're not being unkind or unprofessional; you're increasing your capacity for discomfort, and the right relationships don't require cushioning."