Dad Refuses to Reschedule Work After Ex Takes Job 100 Miles Away: ‘You’re Holding Back My Career!’

Co-parenting usually works best when both parents take responsibility for the decisions they make. This father recently found himself in a difficult position after his ex-girlfriend accepted a new job nearly 100 miles from home.

For years, the two of them had worked out a schedule that allowed them to share custody of their daughter equally, and his employer had even adjusted his hours to help make it work. Then the ex’s childcare plan fell apart after her dad realized he couldn’t keep driving their daughter to and from school every week. So she turned to her ex and asked him to change his work schedule so she could keep commuting to her new job. When he said that wasn’t possible, she accused him of trying to hold her back.

What Happened

The father shared his story on Reddit. He and his ex separated seven years ago and have a daughter together (he also has two daughters from a previous relationship). They have 50:50 shared custody. On his days, he collects and drops off their daughter at school, which requires him to leave work early or arrive late. His employer has been understanding, allowing him to make up hours by being available on weekends for emergencies.

His ex took a job 100 miles away and planned to commute daily. She initially arranged for her dad to handle school pickups on her days, but her dad soon backed out, leaving her without childcare. She then asked the father to work from home 3-4 days per week so she could keep her job. He refused, saying it wasn’t an option. She accused him of being bitter about the breakup and trying to sabotage her career.

Reddit Reacts

Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with the father. Comments highlighted that she made the choice to take a job far away and should have planned accordingly. Many pointed out that he had already adjusted his schedule to accommodate the custody arrangement, and it wasn’t fair for her to expect him to change it again to fix her problem. Others noted that her accusation of him holding her back was unfounded, as he was simply maintaining the existing arrangement.

The Takeaway

It’s hard to blame the father here. He already adjusted his work schedule to make the shared custody arrangement work. The ex is the one who chose to take a job nearly 100 miles away, accepting the responsibility of figuring out how that decision would affect her parenting schedule. Her original plan didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean the father has to rearrange his job to fix the problem. Hopefully she finds another solution because expecting him to absorb the consequences of her decision simply isn’t fair.